So last night I went with the boyfriend and some of his work friends from Blue Ribbon to see Francis and the Lights and Heloise and the Savoir Faire at Bowery Ballroom. Francis works at the Sullivan St. restaurant and Heloise I guess used to work at the Bakery but that was before my time.
Anyway the boyfriend and I arrived around 8 and were drinking some beers in the basement and minding our own business when through the door strode a tall skinny white guy with what can only be described as an Anna Wintour bob crafted out of white boy dreads. He was dressed simply, in a too tight vest and jeans so low slung that the crack of his ass shone like a star.
I know it doesnt sound that extreme especially for New York but people, it was. We later learned that he was the frontman for the band Unisex Salon, and I think I now must defer to their website which says it best:
“Imagine if New Wave went down on glam while being double penetrated by Pop Rock…”
and it goes on like that. click on bio and photos for mankind at its douchiest.
Anyway, after their “performance”, (which allegedly included the extraction of a candy cane from theaforementioned asscrack), Francis and the Lights went on.
I suck at describing peoples “sound”. Music writers are always talking about how someones sound is a little a this and a little of that . “early joni mitchell tossed with some Moody Blues, and a dash of Weezer crossed with Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings if Sharon Jones had spent her summers in a Danish hamlet manufacturing candy animals and the Dap Kings were secretly into freebase.” whatever. So clearly I’m not even good at making that shit up as a joke, so like all ignorant people I’ll just say what I know.
Francis and the Lights sounded fucking awesome. It was like the same fun, synth sound that made people care about artists like Huey Lewis and also had a sort of a freak out, diva- Prince thing going on. THe band was sick and their music was awesome. He is a fantastic singer and an incredibly magnetic performer. Everyone was feeling it.
Next Heloise and the Savoir Faire were like a post-punk dance outfit with such a rich heavy sound that it was like watching some sort of operatic, psychedelic musical. Her and her bandmates are ridiculously energetic, have a blast without taking themselves too seriously and her voice is of a quality that most singers on major labels can’t achieve even with generous applications of “Studio Magic.” It was masssive. The crowd loved it and as the boyfriend pointed out, it totally ignited the fire under each and every homosexual in the audience. Gay men who had nodded politely and maybe swayed a bit during Francis’s set, were totally unhinged, dancing and flailing wildly. Heterosexual men were eyeing each other warily, unsure whether it was okay to be into it, or whether or not it was “too gay.” Being a girl I had all options opened and was happy to dance a little bit. By the end the whole crowd was a sweaty euphoric mess. I wish I hadnt worn a silk scarf.
Towards the end of her set my best friend Abby pulls me over and whispers in my ear:
Abby: (hushed voice) “There’s a Hobbit standing next to you.”
Stella: (drunk party voice) WHAT? A HOBBIT?
Abby: (controlled whisper) Shut. Up. And. Look.
Stella (looking around. same drunk party voice) OH YEAAAH…THAT GUY TOTALLY LOOKS LIKE FRODO…HAHAHA FRODO
Abby (looking straight ahead): shut. the. fuck. up.
Abby: HE CAN HEAR YOU!
Elijah Wood aka Frodo aka That Kid from THe Good Son was standing right next to me (Apparently he owns the record label that Heloise is on)
And just like that, I am a total loudmouth asshole. The kind I swore I’d never be.
Frodo, if you’re reading. I’m sorry.