Wake Me Up When I’m Not A Cliche

Stella and I were talking the other day about how scary it is that we’re 2 pints of ice cream away from our lives scarily resembling the comic strip Cathy.  Though really, I think my life resembles Cathy’s much more.  Let’s take a gander, shall we?

According to Wikipedia, the only place I get any information about anything ever, Cathy deals with four basic “guilt groups”:

 

Food

Cathy has a love/hate affair with food (especially carbohydrates).  She loves it, but hates what it does to her thighs. She is often shown in a department store fitting room trying to stuff herself into a bathing suit. She is constantly on a diet, weighs herself maniacally and many mornings fears to get up, believing that she has ballooned overnight. Cathy is particularly fond of chocolate.

Now, I think it might be nearly impossible to not identify with this in some way if you’re a woman, as awful as that sounds.  Though, I wouldn’t say I “weigh myself maniacally,” I definitely get stressed out about gaiing weight/thinking I’m too fat at least 3-5 times a week.

Love

Cathy has dated extensively, but was unable to find ‘Mr. Right’. Although a number of love interests have come and gone over the years, none has come back like Irving, who is now her husband

See, my goal in life or dating is not to get married.  Also, that’s pretty weird that apparently she’s married now.  But, for me, after being single for about two years straight after the breakup of a major, major relationship that I went completely nuts in the aftermath with, I feel like sometimes meeting tons & tons of people that I cant feel anything for gets kind of tedious.  On the other side, the few people I’ve felt anything more for either don’t feel the same way about me, or I just end up sabotaging the whole thing because of my own fear of failure issues. 

Mom

Although well-meaning, Mom’s advice often frustrates Cathy, especially when Mom is right. Cathy and her mother are from two different generations, of course. Cathy grew up in the era of feminism, women’s rights and the sexual revolution. Mom is from an earlier, simpler time. Although an equal in her marriage to Cathy’s Dad, Mom holds many old-fashioned ideas.

Though I’m no baby boomer, my mom acts like she isn’t one.  Coming from a Catholic country really devolves you, I think.  And this is essentially the crux of my relationship with my mom.

Work

Cathy has to juggle many tasks at Product Testing, Inc. Her boss, Mr. Pinkley, often asks the impossible, and Cathy always seems to pull through in the end and give him and the client exactly what they want, albeit with quite a bit of drama.

I think we all know how I feel about my job

So, yeah, as I sit here writing narcicisstically about myself with one of my cats keeping me company, craving Tofutti Cuties & thinking of how stupid I am for  ever opening myself up to anyone, I kind of wonder how the hell it all got to this point.  And that maybe it’s finally time to do something dramatically different with the course of my life, because this is getting kind of absurd.  It’s not possible to be a “Cathy” in Europe, right?

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