Dylan McKay, I Blame You

 

Look at him……. ……laughing away.  Taunting me with that tousled hair and devil-may-care alcoholism/gambling problem.   Stella’s last post about Steve Sanders got me thinking about a number of 90210-related things.  One of these things, I have to say, was how it is a scientific FACT that Dylan McKay played a large part in totally fucking up my taste in guys.

I know that liking Brandon Walsh was the “right” thing to do, but somehow, I totally fell for this whole second coming of James Dean bullshit that was Luke Perry.  For one thing, how overwhelmingly exciting was idea of Dylan McKay’s driftwood themed beach house….that he lived in BY HIMSELF!?  And he drove recklessly!  Those two things = awesome to a 12-year old me.  In other words, anything that my mom vehemently dissapproved of was what I found to be devastatingly attractive. 

So, here’s why I blame Dylan.  If you were to meet such a person in real life, would you not have enough red flags to supply your entire team at a flag football match (that was an awful analogy)?  Dylan overcame his drinking problem, gun problem, driving problems, etc., etc. eventually.  Which is great, and sometimes, that does happen for people.  But did he have to be so damn appealing while he was going wayward? 

I also find it interesting that I initially hated Brenda Walsh.  I think she reminded me too much of myself.  I was perpetually the new kid on the block who had to quickly learn that wearing anything that did not come from certain stores and/or designers was the equivalent of wearing dog shit to school.  And this was ELEMENTARY SCHOOL/MIDDLE SCHOOL for me, people.  Anyway, later on, when I began seeing 90210 on reruns, I came to terms with the fact that honestly, I was a Brenda, and who was I kidding (though I somehow morphed into Donna when I got to college).  And I grew to sympathize with her ridiculous tantrums & acting out, because, well, I was just as ridiculous.  And still sort of am.  I think I even have her bangs now.  Does that mean I’m back to being Brenda after being Donna?  Who can say?

Anyway, I’ve had this sort of ongoing problem of being attracted to a Dylan McKay archetype of guy.  Not that I necessarily want to “fix” him, but that I want to sort of BE him by being with him.  I wish it would have been possible for me to have my own house in high school, for me to even have had the luxury of having a gambling problem, and to sleep or fuck around with anyone I pleased and not to be scolded for it (as Kelly AND Brenda had been)…but rather, to actually be MORE attractive because of it!  It’s not fair!!  So how did I resolve these feelings?  By going out with wackos.  Wackos that initially seemed exciting and dangerous, but who ended up being extremely immature, retarded, and dangerous!

Though I’ve definitely learned my lesson to a large extent, I can’t quite fully give up the archetype.  Though I’m definitely not attracted to the Dylan McKays and Troy Dyers of the world anymore, I think my taste might have morphed into something that is one part Dylan McKay, one part Kelly Slater, one part Don Draper, and one part Jake Gyllenhall.  Or something.

Long story short, I’ll always have a place in the beach of my heart reserved just for you, Dylan.

 

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1 Comment

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One response to “Dylan McKay, I Blame You

  1. Dylan Mckay

    Well I will tell u there real is a Dylan Mckay I am it I have been haunted by it for along time I mean what the hell if i look my name up what do i get but Luke Perry. sorry but F to him hahaha.

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