Posted by: Stella Glass
There is a reason why people are excited to find someone who understands them, or who intrigues them. That part is (relatively) easy. Especially in a big city where you have encounters with random people every day that could develop into something more. However more often than not it’s the thrill of the chase and the momentary satisfaction of the catch that are what is most exciting.
So the idea isnt about writing about “dating and relationships”. I’m not a casual dater. I’ve been with the same guy for 5 years. Before that I was with another guy for most of college. For some reason, most writing about urban folk in romantic situations these days, calls to mind a certain type of pink-tinted-cocktail-swilling pointy-shoe loving cable tv enthusiast. I am strongly trying to avoid that. However I do live with the man I am in love with and that does color a significant amount of the way my life looks these days. I also feel that aside from Mom-jeans wearing Real Simple Magazine, there is a dearth of writing about people who are young and urban and in relationships. Why is that?
“Perhaps”, you say, “reading about the day to day of a fairly happy and functional domestic couple isnt that interesting. Perhaps there is nothing compelling or exciting about two people who went new sheet shopping together 5 months ago and will probably be eating take out sushi and watching Mad Men 5 months from now.”
These reasons are valid. These are not only the reasons why people don’t want to read about relationships, they are also why a lot of people dont want to stay in relationships. They are why they cheat on boyfriends, get divorced or sabatoge their own relationships out of a desire for drama. The excitement is gone, there is little chance for surprise, there is less of a likelihood of grand gesture. Your days become increasingly similar and from a voyeuristic perspective, far less interesting to watch.
But there is something there. There is something that keeps people together for longer than a few months or a few years. The idea of doing this feature isn’t to talk in detail about my relationship (which I would never want to dissect on the internet and which people probably would not be that interested in anyway) but to examine some of the truths that I think are universal to all relationships, and relate those fascinating nuggets of wisdom to you
So get excited.