Interview With Russell, Graphic Designer and Smartass Extraordinaire

Posted by: Coco Buchanan

CB: Where you from & where do you stay at?

R: San Francisco

CB: Who is your Daddy, and what does he do?

R: Jack. He’s a retired airline mechanic who balances his time between doing handyman work and talking to strangers until they walk away.

CB: What sound or noise do you love?

R: Thwip! But only the way it exists in my head.

CB: If Hollywood made a movie about your life, whom would you like to see play the lead role as you?

R: JCVD [Editor’s note: That’s Jean Claude Van Damme for you novices in the world of action movies], or Ed Norton.

CB: Do you think you’ve “sold out”?

R: Thoroughly.

CB: Would you welcome the opportunity to “sell out”?

R: No. I’ve pretty much reached my threshold.

CB: What are the first 5 songs on your “recently played” playlist?

R: The Who:

Magic Bus
I Can See For Miles 
Pictures Of Lily
Happy Jack
Boris The Spider

CB: Oysters or Peanuts at happy hour?

R: Oysters

CB: If I was over at your house, would it be cool if I crash there?

R: It would be super cool, but probably not the best idea.

CB: What is your problem?

R: I’m suffering from cognitive deterioration as a result of poor sleep and depression. I stay up late being bummed that I’m so stupid, so I don’t see things improving anytime soon.

CB: Define the word “burrito.”

R: I don’t fucking know- “burrito” is a fucking burrito. I’ll tell you what though- I can define the phrase “stupid question”. Answer: Define the word “burrito.”

[Editor’s note: Define the word “asshole.” Answer: Someone who can’t and won’t define the word “burrito” 🙂 ]

CB: Preference: “tex mex” or “cali mex?”

R: “Cali mex”, but I would never describe it as such.

CB: You have to move to another city that you’ve never even visited and live there for at least one year.  Where do you go?

R: Madrid

CB: Invent a Ben & Jerry’s ice cream flavor that incorporates the name of a band.  Go

R: Murder City Devilsfood Cake Batter

CB: What’d you do today?

R: Tried in vain to define that which refuses to be defined.

CB: If your country of origin suddenly adopted an Israeli/Italian policy towards defense, and you had to join the armed forces in some capacity, what would you choose to do?

R: Are you talking about compulsory conscription? If so, then I would totally join up. I’m a big fan of the idea actually- I think most Americans would think more carefully about supporting military action if they knew the lives of their sons and daughters might be at stake.

CB: Brandon, Dylan or Steve?

R: Steve. He kicked ass in Bullit.

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