Monthly Archives: February 2009

Interview with Elvie Shurwitz, Rabies Victim and Daughter of a Gaydatin’ Dad.

Posted By: Stella Glass

SG:Where you from & where do you stay at?447px-carl_reiner

ES: I refuse to answer questions with improper grammar.

SG: Who is your Daddy, and what does he do?

http://www.charm.net/~ganymede/HTML/personals.html

SG: What is your problem?

ES: You.

SG: What sound or noise do you love?

ES: You getting out of my face.  And the sound of dolphins masturbating to Xanadu.

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What The Hell Ever Happened To… Semi-Obscure 80s Child Stars

Posted by: Coco Buchanan

Have you ever randomly been thinking of some semi-obscure TV or movie from your childhood and wonder whatever happened to certain actors that seem to have dropped off the face of the earth? Well, I clearly have. Thus, begins What The Hell Ever Happened To… I internet-stalk them so you don’t have to put in the energy into feeling like a weirdo!

small_wonder1.  Harriet from Small Wonder, aka Emily Hope Webster, nee Shulman.
Harriet Brindle was the quintessential annoying freckle-faced redhead next door, if there ever was one.  She was proto-Urkel, with a big ‘ol splash of sass.  I think the last time I saw her in anything was either in a guest spot on Mr. Belvedere or in the legendary Troop Beverly Hills as Tiffany (also co-starring Tori Spelling, Carla Gugino and Jenny Lewis).  I also remember her starring in a show I remember liking a lot called Caddie Woodlawn-a show about a rambunctious tomboy who lived during frontier times.  I guess I have a thing for redheaded American heroines (hello, Anne of Green Gables!) pre-1920.
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Go Crazy With the CheezWhiz

Posted by: Stella Glass

Well, Coco is still out of town, it’s Friday and for the first time in a while, I actually have work to do at my day job.  So it’s gonna be a clip show kinda day, I’m afraid, but I’ll try to post a couple before 5 PM, when the glorious weekend begins.

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Interview with Broke-Ass Stuart

broke-ass-stuart-old-timeyStuart Schuffman, is a homie of Coco’s from back in the day, who now is the creator and face of the Broke-Ass Stuart Empire.  As per his website/blog,

Broke-Ass Stuart writes for busboys, poets, social workers, students, artists, musicians, magicians, mathematicians, maniacs, yodelers and everyone else out there who wants to enjoy life not as a rich person, but as a real person. Namely, he writes for you.

He has published two books, Broke-Ass Stuart’s Guide to Living Cheaply in San Francisco, and Broke-Ass Stuart’s Guide to Living Cheaply in New York (he wrote the bulk of the latter while he & his girlfriend were living with me in my mouse-infested Bushwick apartment a couple of years ago).  He has done some travel writing for Lonely Planet, and had an extensive blog about his travels in South America.

CB: Where you from & where do you stay at?

SS: Well, I grew up in San Diego and El Paso (I’m a border boy through and through), and I’m currently living in San Francisco.  But since 2006 I’ve spent extended amounts of time in Ireland, Argentina, and New York.  I consider SF to be home though.

CB: Who is your Daddy, and what does he do?

SS: My Daddy’s name is Jay and he sells jewelry.  A Jewish guy in the jewelry business, fancy that.

CB: What is your problem?

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KISSOLOGY: The Ultimate KISS Collection Review

ericcarrGuest Blogger: The Werewolf of Sex

Thank you, Coco, so very much for the three-dvd set of Kiss concert footage. It’s so good to have in my possession high quality digitally restored versions of the VHS concerts I used to entertain myself and worry my father during my awkward tween years. For Kiss was the perfect pudding for engaging an 11 year old fixated on the bizarre and jarring imagery supplied by 80’s low-brow cinema, comic books, the iconic status of sports figures and that new tugging feeling in the pants. I gleefully ingested every spoonful of satisfactory rock that these four (actually six) hairy, make-up splattered Jews from Queens put out.

Shiiiiit. I licked the mixing bowl clean and broke my teeth on the metal mixers trying to taste even the rawest of sub-par kiss demo throwaways. and you can imagine what SUB-PAR kiss sounds like…

To me there was no bad Kiss. There was just MORE kiss. And that’s the perfect description of this collection that I am know the “proud” owner of. It’s 24 hours of Kiss, though I watched its entirety in just a little under 6. If you know anything about them, then you know their taste for repetition (“Rock & Roll All Night” appears on here 14 times). The concerts are presented in three volumes: Kissology Vol 1, 2 & 3. Yeah, they love to use Kiss as a prefix.

Spanning from 1973 to 2000, the set chronicles their rise from cult phenomenon, to international merchandising juggernaut. I’ll save you the full odyssey of Kiss for the simple reason that their tale of worldwide domination, fall from grace and eventual recapture of the gold is oh-so-rock&roll-formulaic. But then again, what about Kiss isn’t formulaic?

There is no possible way that anyone has read this far.

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Gwyneth, You’re What’s Wrong.

Posted by: Stella Glass

gwyneth-paltrow-picture-1

While I know I’m a bit late to the party on this, I was inspired by the debate between the ladies over at Jezebel about “Gwyneth Paltrow: Is She Really so Bad?” Having been a long time disgustee of Gwyneth’s brand of self-satisfied entitlement, I was pleased to see that I was not alone. Since the launch of the stickily-named “GOOP”, her “lifestyle” newsletter , criticism of her snooty condescension has been rampant!

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Crazy Aunt Helen: Ridin’ the Rails!

Dear Aunt Helen,3219763138_b8da94aa61
If a tree falls in the road, over the Palisades Parkway, how many men are dispatched to get that tree off the road?

Sincerely,
Monroe Whittaker

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