Interview with Douglas Garth Williams: Owner of the World’s Longest Nipple Hair, Proprieter of dougisfamous.com and the Kind of Guy Who’d Love a Pre-dawn Phone Call About Your New Bong!

Posted by: Stella Glassl_b676b31a4bf3a7ff77eaa78a9429fb1f

dougisfamous

SG: Where you from & where do you stay at?

DW: Your street grammar is making me uncomfortable.

SG: Who is your Daddy, and what does he do?

DW: I’m attaching a photo as a response

SG:  What is your problem?

DW: Maybe Indecision or… I don’t know.

SG: What sound or noise do you love?

DW: My voice/ applause

SG: Oysters or Peanuts at happy hour?

DW: I don’t eat those. Those make me unhappy.

SG: If I was over at your house, would it be cool if I crash there?

DW: Maybe but don’t get any ideas.

SG: Do you think you’ve “sold out”?

DW: Not yet but I’m working on it

SG:  Would you welcome the opportunity to “sell out”?

DW: I sort of covered that in the last question.

SG: What are the first 5 songs on your “recently played” playlist?

DW:

The Delphonics “Hey Love”
The Delphonics “Didn’t I Blow your mind”
The Parliaments “(I wanna) Testify”
Aretha Franklin “I say a little prayer”
E-40 “U and dat”

SG: If Hollywood made a movie about your life, whom would you like to see play the lead role as you?

DW: The Olsen twins.

SG: Define the word “burrito.”

DW: Sorry I don’t speak Spanish… But I think those are like Mexican cheeseburgers. When I visited my folks at one point they told me they were thinking about moving to Costa Rica when they retire. My dad was lamenting the fact the they speak, “a whole nother language over there” I told him all he needed to know was that the word for beer was “cerveza” . The next time I visited I quizzed him by asking “How do you say ‘Beer’ in Spanish?” “El Biero.” he replied. “Cerveza.” I said. “Whats cerveza?” he asked. At that point my mom jumped in to help out by explaining, “Cerveza is a Mexican dish with chicken and rice.” That’s a true story.

SG: Name a food that you used to hate but you love now?

DW: Nothing has changed.

SG:  What is the finest quality a person can possess?

DW: Premium quality.

SG: When are you happiest?

DW: When I wax my trophies.

SG: What’d you do today?

DW:Woke up. Waxed trophies. Etc.

SG: What’s a guilty pleasure for you?

DW: Being interviewed.

SG: What actor or actress’s fame is totally undeserved?

DW: The Olsen twins.

SG: You have to move to another city that you’ve never even visited and live there for at least one year.  Where do you go?

DW: You’re not the boss of me. I’m staying in Oakland.

SG: Invent a Ben & Jerry’s ice cream flavor that incorporates the name of a band.  Go.

DW: Backstreet Boysenberry?… Bon Bon Jovi?… Fleetwood Mac and Cheese?… Flavor Enhancing Chemical Brothers?

SG:  If  your country of origin suddenly adopted an Israeli/Italian policy towards defense, and you had to join the armed forces in some capacity, what would you choose to do?

DW: Move.

SG: Brandon, Dylan or Steve?

DW: Dylan. I would definitely rather have sexual intercourse with Dylan than the other two men. I would like to have gay sex with all of them of course, it’s just that I want to have gay sex with Dylan even more then I want to have gay sex with the other two men on the list.

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1 Comment

Filed under Interviews

One response to “Interview with Douglas Garth Williams: Owner of the World’s Longest Nipple Hair, Proprieter of dougisfamous.com and the Kind of Guy Who’d Love a Pre-dawn Phone Call About Your New Bong!

  1. GARTH

    YOU SHINE BRIGHTER THAN EVERY STAR IN THE SKY.

    I WANT MAKE LOVE TO YOUR BEARD

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