Fiona Apple, Why Try To Change Me Now?

Posted by: Coco Buchanan

Cy Coleman originally wrote this song for Frank Sinatra, and I guess this version from Fiona Apple has been floating around lately, from a concert in January.  As per usual of Ms. Apple, her version of this song (listen to the original here) is extraordinarily sad….and so, predictably, I freaking love it.

Here are the lyrics:

I’m sentimental
So I walk in the rain
I’ve got some habits
That I can’t explain
Could start for the corner
Turn up in Spain
Why try to change me now
I sit and daydream
I’ve got daydreams galore
Cigarette ashes
There they go on the floor
I go away weekends
And leave my keys in the door
But why try to change me now
Why can’t I be more conventional
People talk
People stare
So I try
But that’s not for me
Cuz I can’t see
My strange little world
Go passing me by
So let people wonder
Let ’em laugh
Let ’em frown
You know I’ll love you
Till the moon’s upside down
Don’t you remember
I was always your clown
Why try to change me now
Don’t you remember
I was always your clown
Why try to change me
Why try to change me now

It’s possibly one of the saddest things ever.  It at once swells with loneliness and hints at regret or shame.  And yet, there’s an underlying confidence, almost and resignation that this is simply the state of affairs: that you won’t ever really fit in or be able to please someone in the way you would like.  And though you’ll still care about that person, and you’re sad that you can’t please them, you’ve been around for a while now, you’re no beginner, and you are who you are…so why try to change me now?

It’s kind of growing into the heartbreaks and disappointments that happen as an adult.  Instead of flying into a rage or feeling lost, there’s a sense of calmness in the loneliness you’ve now gotten used to as a result of not compromising yourself.

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1 Comment

Filed under music

One response to “Fiona Apple, Why Try To Change Me Now?

  1. jenny from the block

    This is beautiful. The whole thing! I was watching tv this morning and they were saying when mothers talk to their daughters about sex – they rarely talk about the intense emotions that come up in relationships and how women can deal with them.

    I really love the last line – so wise! “Instead of flying into a rage or feeling lost, there’s a sense of calmness in the loneliness you’ve now gotten used to as a result of not compromising yourself.”

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