Category Archives: Interviews

Spring Tunez

Posted by: Coco Buchanan

Enjoy my (fairly predictable) Spring music piece at Lacroix: the Beauty Blog.  Though, I’ll have you know I didn’t even mention Ryan Adams…even though rigth now I’m super into Love is Hell Part I (just The Shadowlands, really), and Cold Roses.   Shocking!

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Interview With Oliver Hartman, Tatu-Lovin’ Brokeass

Posted By: Coco Buchanan

Oliver Hartman is a friend of the blog, and a freelance writer currently residing in the City of New York.  He is a Resident Bargain Whorespondent for Broke Ass Stuart’s Goddamn Website/blog.  The most unexpected/hilairous thing he’s ever said to either Stella or I: “I slept in a car last night on St. Mark’s !”

CB: Where you from & where do you stay at?  hello-kitty-cat

OH: I grew up in a very small town called Whitefield, Maine and currently stay in Central Harlem.


CB: Who is your Daddy, and what does he do?

OH: An old retired man who does Hospice volunteering.  He turned 70 a few weeks ago.


CB: What is your problem?

OH: I was hoping you were going to tell me!  That is what you promised!

 

 

CB: What sound or noise do you love?

OH: Cheesy but true, cats purring. I used to love “You’ve Got Mail” . Now, and I cannot believe it still fucking exists, but I heard it on the Bolt Bus to Boston, it just sounds dumb.


CB: Oysters or Peanuts at happy hour?

OH: Who’s paying?

 

CB: If I was over at your house, would it be cool if I crash there?

OH: Yup!  Matches are in the little bamboo box on the back of the bowl.

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Interview with Barbra Vitanza: Long Islandian, Chain Smoking, Ball Bustin’ Broad

Posted by: Coco Buchanan

The only way to properly get the feel of this interview is me transcribing this as phonetically as possible.  Ms. Vitanza will be a weekly (or bi-weekly, we haven’t decided yet) staple in our soon-to-come podcast feature.  For now, this is a little sumthin’ sumthin’ to get you acquainted.

CB: Where you from & where do you stay at?

BV:Wheeaaah do youse think I’m from?  Fraaaaance?  Louung Island, sweethawwt, Louuuuuuuuuuuuuuung Island.  I stay wheahhevah the hell I wanna stay.  What’s with the third degree?  Pass me the lighah, wouldja, hon?


CB: Who is your Daddy, and what does he do?

BV:  My fawwtha  is louung gone.  And thank gawd fa’ that, that fuckin’ bastahhd.  He owned a string of casino-strip clubs on the eastern seaboahhd called “Crazy Vito’s: The Loosest Slots East of Hoboken”.  It was mauuuderately successful.

[takes a drag of a Capri]  Oh yeeeahh, that’s smooooooooooth.

CB: What is your problem?
BV:  Don’t get smaaauuuurt with me!  What ahh you?  Some souurta pah’ticulah wise guy?

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Interview with Erica, Dances With Sneakers/Boogie Woogie Bugle Girl

Posted By: Coco Buchanan

Erica is a friend of me & Stella’s. She bakes cookies like nobody’s business at all hours of the day, is always down for impromptu karaoke or dance parties (in sneakers, even), and has possibly the most oft-mispronounced last name ever, even though it’s quite simple, and you’d think people wouldn’t stray too far from what it actually is. But, no. Also, she’s is often wracked with Catholic guilt about things that have nothing to do directly with Catholicism, necessarily (interviewees, Just Like Us!). It can make for good work ethic, but caaa-razaaay rage sessions with yours truly. RAGEPOD AGAINST THE MACHINE!

permCB: Where you from & where do you stay at?

ES: I’m from the suburbs of Buffalo–Hamburg, to be exact. These days I stay in Park Slope.

CB: Who is your Daddy, and what does he do?

ES: Pop-pop/Big John/the Great White Hunter: a man recovering from decades with permed hair, too many kids, and no fewer than three jobs at any given time. These days he’s “retired” which means he works one job, and is building a house in the middle of nowhere that’s exactly what he’s always wanted.

CB:What is your problem?

ES: I find these kind of questions intimidating, even though (or, “therefore”) I’m kind of brassy and obnoxious.

CB: What sound or noise do you love?

ES: Children. Even if they’re screaming for hours I’d rather hear that than any adult I’ve met thus far.

CB: Oysters or Peanuts at happy hour?

ES: Peanuts…but I wish pretzels were an option Continue reading

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Interview With Hunter Reaves Slaton, aka Mr. Serious

Posted by: Coco Buchanan

Hunter Reaves Slaton is a writer for Meetings & Conventions Magazine, knows all of the words to the fake musical Rochelle, Rochelle, and has a blog called Fighting Fire With Unlit Matches.  And he is for serious, on the serious in this interview.

CB: Where you from & where do you stay at?

Hunter at the LCD Soundsystem/Arcade Fire Show getting his corndog on, Summer '07

Hunter at the LCD Soundsystem/Arcade Fire Show getting his corndog on, Summer '07

HRS: I’m from Little Rock, Arkansas, though I was born in Memphis, Tennessee.  For most of the last eight years, I have “stayed” in New York City.  Right now I live on the south side of Williamsburg, Brooklyn, off the Marcy stop on the JMZ.

CB: Who is your Daddy, and what does he do?

HRS: My dad is a lawyer and a judge for the Arkansas Public Service Commission.  Each state has a Public Service Commission, and what they do is regulate the monopolies, like the water company, power company, natural gas, and etc.

I would also like to note that it surprises me that the writers of this blog, given at least one-half of them’s known feminist proclivities, would choose to administer an interview in which it is asked what one’s Daddy does but not one’s Momma (Editor’s note: Umm, because it’s from Kindergarten Cop, DUH).

My mother is in charge of women’s ministries at her church.  And, in her own way, I’ve learned in the past couple of years that she’s kind of a troublemaker and an agitator.  I like that.

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Interview with Douglas Garth Williams: Owner of the World’s Longest Nipple Hair, Proprieter of dougisfamous.com and the Kind of Guy Who’d Love a Pre-dawn Phone Call About Your New Bong!

Posted by: Stella Glassl_b676b31a4bf3a7ff77eaa78a9429fb1f

dougisfamous

SG: Where you from & where do you stay at?

DW: Your street grammar is making me uncomfortable.

SG: Who is your Daddy, and what does he do?

DW: I’m attaching a photo as a response

SG:  What is your problem?

DW: Maybe Indecision or… I don’t know.

SG: What sound or noise do you love?

DW: My voice/ applause

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Interview with Elvie Shurwitz, Rabies Victim and Daughter of a Gaydatin’ Dad.

Posted By: Stella Glass

SG:Where you from & where do you stay at?447px-carl_reiner

ES: I refuse to answer questions with improper grammar.

SG: Who is your Daddy, and what does he do?

http://www.charm.net/~ganymede/HTML/personals.html

SG: What is your problem?

ES: You.

SG: What sound or noise do you love?

ES: You getting out of my face.  And the sound of dolphins masturbating to Xanadu.

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