Tag Archives: Interviews

Interview With Oliver Hartman, Tatu-Lovin’ Brokeass

Posted By: Coco Buchanan

Oliver Hartman is a friend of the blog, and a freelance writer currently residing in the City of New York.  He is a Resident Bargain Whorespondent for Broke Ass Stuart’s Goddamn Website/blog.  The most unexpected/hilairous thing he’s ever said to either Stella or I: “I slept in a car last night on St. Mark’s !”

CB: Where you from & where do you stay at?  hello-kitty-cat

OH: I grew up in a very small town called Whitefield, Maine and currently stay in Central Harlem.


CB: Who is your Daddy, and what does he do?

OH: An old retired man who does Hospice volunteering.  He turned 70 a few weeks ago.


CB: What is your problem?

OH: I was hoping you were going to tell me!  That is what you promised!

 

 

CB: What sound or noise do you love?

OH: Cheesy but true, cats purring. I used to love “You’ve Got Mail” . Now, and I cannot believe it still fucking exists, but I heard it on the Bolt Bus to Boston, it just sounds dumb.


CB: Oysters or Peanuts at happy hour?

OH: Who’s paying?

 

CB: If I was over at your house, would it be cool if I crash there?

OH: Yup!  Matches are in the little bamboo box on the back of the bowl.

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Interview with Erica, Dances With Sneakers/Boogie Woogie Bugle Girl

Posted By: Coco Buchanan

Erica is a friend of me & Stella’s. She bakes cookies like nobody’s business at all hours of the day, is always down for impromptu karaoke or dance parties (in sneakers, even), and has possibly the most oft-mispronounced last name ever, even though it’s quite simple, and you’d think people wouldn’t stray too far from what it actually is. But, no. Also, she’s is often wracked with Catholic guilt about things that have nothing to do directly with Catholicism, necessarily (interviewees, Just Like Us!). It can make for good work ethic, but caaa-razaaay rage sessions with yours truly. RAGEPOD AGAINST THE MACHINE!

permCB: Where you from & where do you stay at?

ES: I’m from the suburbs of Buffalo–Hamburg, to be exact. These days I stay in Park Slope.

CB: Who is your Daddy, and what does he do?

ES: Pop-pop/Big John/the Great White Hunter: a man recovering from decades with permed hair, too many kids, and no fewer than three jobs at any given time. These days he’s “retired” which means he works one job, and is building a house in the middle of nowhere that’s exactly what he’s always wanted.

CB:What is your problem?

ES: I find these kind of questions intimidating, even though (or, “therefore”) I’m kind of brassy and obnoxious.

CB: What sound or noise do you love?

ES: Children. Even if they’re screaming for hours I’d rather hear that than any adult I’ve met thus far.

CB: Oysters or Peanuts at happy hour?

ES: Peanuts…but I wish pretzels were an option Continue reading

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Interview with the Masked Drinker

Posted By: Coco Buchanan

masked-drinkerThe Masked Drinker is an elementary school teacher by profession, and drinker by way of love.  He writes for Here Comes a Regular whereupon he dispenses much knowledge.  Some say that beneath his mask exists the handsomest face ever seen, and this is why he hides it.  Others say it is just because he is weird.

 CB: Where you from & where do you stay at?

MD:  I’m originally from Eastern Kentucky, right on the border with West Virginia and Ohio.  Three shitty states for the price of one.  I live in Bushwick now and I really don’t like going back.  For the past 12 years I go back once or maybe twice a year.  If you’ve ever wondered what it feels like for God and Superman to take turns shitting on a picture of your happiest memory, that’s what it’s like to be where I’m from.  On the other hand, if you bring a first-time visitor it’s kind of fun for a couple days.  Then the Divine Kryptonian Memory Shitting kicks in.

 CB: Who is your Daddy, and what does he do?

MD:  His name is Mickey and he’s an assistant superintendent in the public school system back there.  My folks both worked in the school system.  My mom was a music teacher and he was a principal as I grew up.  He was my principal one year.  It wasn’t as weird as you might think.  I didn’t get up to much orneriness back in the day though.

CB: What is your problem?

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Interview with Abbington von Koo, Proprieter of Koochievision, and Potential U.S.Deserter

Posted by: Stella Glass

KOOCHIEVISION, KOOCHIEVISION, KOOCHIEVISION !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!animal-2

AvK: Um I WAS BORN READY. That’s my first quote. Quote me

SG: Okay. Here we go. Where you from & where do you stay at?

AvK: I’m from, well, actually it’s complicated. My parents told me when I was the tender age of 6 that I was in fact dropped off from my “space parents.” So I guess I’m from the outer limits by way of BOSSSSTON.  And I stay at peewee’s playhouse also known as Koochieville

SG: Who is your Daddy, and what does he do?

AvK: Gerry. I’m a Gerry’s kid! He’s an oracle; wiser than Gandalf and more magical than Shaq in Kazaam!

SG: What is your problem?

AvK: What’s YOUR damage? My real problem is the movie “Problem Child” 1 AND 2

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Coco and Stella Interviewed on Lacroix: The Beauty Blog

lacroix-beauty-blog

Check out Stella’s interview here, and Coco’s interview here.

We were interviewed completely seperate from each other, so any similarity in answers are entirely coincidental.

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Interview With Danielliepants

Posted by: Coco Buchanan

Danielliepants is a citizen of America’s Finest City aka San Diego.  I’ve known her since I was yea high.  And by yea high, I mean middle school.  So, basically, slightly shorter than I am now.  She’s what they call a “real firecracker.”  If you’ve ever gone out with her, sat in a car with her, or essentially had any interaction with her whatsoever, you need no further explanation.  She’s the type of girl who’ll choreograph dances with you at the drop of a hat, buy the Dark Knight on DVD at the stroke of midnight, bust out ridiculous South Park monologues with barely any prompting, and remember the most random and obscure things about childhood cartoons.   Once, for an entire summer, we watched only 2 movies: South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut, and Austin Powers 2: The Spy Who Shagged Me.  Another time, the first time I got drunk, in fact, I threw up vodka and Mountain Dew in the back of her Dad’s Geo Tracker.  She covered for me by saying I ate too much.  And he bought it for some inexplicable reason, despite the fact that it totally reeked of booze.  I think you get the picture here.

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Interview with Mike: An Artist and Werewolf of Sex

Posted by: Coco Buchanan

After eating half of his Dumac & Cheese, I decided to buy some pears and have a chat with the Werewolf of Sex himself, Mike Marsicano.  He is an illustrator, a fabulous facial hair cultivator (even though he recently shaved it off!), and has an interesting obsession with all things Cunanan.  You can check out Mike’s artwork here: mmarsicano.com

CB: Where you from & where do you stay at?

MM: I’m from Long Island New York & I stay as far west of there as possible.  Literally Hell’s Kitchen, the farthest west before you hit New Jersey.

 

CB: Who is your Daddy, and what does he do?

MM: He’s a cop, you idiot.

 

CB: What sound or noise do you love?

MM: Ch-ching!

 

CB: If Hollywood made a movie about your life, whom would you like to see play the lead role as you?

MM: I’d say Salma Hayek, because I’ve got a great chest.  I’m pretty sure mine’s real.  Definitely sure mine’s real.Regent Beverly Wilshire Hotel

 

CB: Do you think you’ve “sold out”?

MM: Yeah, only if you call lack of success selling out.

 

CB: Would you welcome the opportunity to “sell out”?

MM: You know, absolutely.

 

CB: What are the first 5 songs on your “recently played” playlist?

MM: Chuck Berry-School Days

Iron Maiden-Purgatory

Maxwell-Lifetime

Talking Heads-I Zimbra

Captain Beefheart-Trout Masked Replica

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